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#62 Vajazzling

Species Name:  Unnecessarius Accessorizus

I honestly cannot believe I’m dedicated actual time and energy to thinning this ridiculous fad, but hey, nobody said this job would be easy.  Remember the 80’s when everyone was bedazzling their jean jackets with the completely non-gay accessories that they needed?

Well rejoice, cause bedazzling is back!  But this is 2010, so the art of bedazzling had to be taken to the next level.  That level being women’s vagina’s apparently.  Ladies, have you ever looked down at your lady parts and thought, “You know what my rosebud needs?  Some fake rhinestones to make it sparkle like the true gem it is!”  So who do we have to blame for this brainfart of retardation?  The quintessential voice of our generation, that’s who, none other then Jennifer  Love Hewitt:

In a world where a vagina could just be a vagina:

• We wouldn’t have to endure the inevitable Cock and Balldazzling that is sure to follow.  The line forms to the left gentlemen.
• JLH would stick to being the Ghost Whisperer and not the Vagina Whisperer.
• Guys wouldn’t to worry about being shred to pieces while in the missionary position.  You might as well be wearing a chastity belt too, ladies.
• The tramp stamp would return to being the lonely symbol of the slut.
• We would never hear these words coming from our TV’s:  “Today, on a very special Martha Stewart Show, I’ll show you the many ways to vajazzle your vajayjay.”

I don’t know man.  I don’t understand this at all.  Vajazzling as a way to get over a break up?  Huh?  What?  My brain hurts.  Ladies, look, getting yourself vajazzled is retarded.  Stop it.  I don’t care if you think it makes you look beautiful.  It doesn’t, it makes it seem like you went to a kindergarten class during arts and crafts and told the kids to go to town.  Men, beware of the vajazzled woman, because if she’s paid money to have her privates “shine like a disco ball,” she’s got issues you don’t want to touch.

But one has to have dreams right?

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Teasing and tasting her twat

I love the taste of pussy, don’t you?

As much as I enjoy fucking a woman, sometimes I like to just dip my tongue into that sweet (or tangy or whatever the particular taste may be) hole and agitate her twat for a while. There’s no better way to turn a woman on if you really want to get her going.

Make her lie back and spread her legs for you, then lick the full length of those lower lips. Do it light and teasingly at first. Keep at it, occasionally continuing up to tease her clit with your tongue, too. She’ll soon be squirming and moaning and begging you for more.

Then dip inside to her sweet, moist pinkness. Fuck that hole with your tongue, stab it as deep as you can go. She will practically be gushing her juice and that hole will be gaping, wanting your cock so bad. At that point she will do anything to have your cock in her. She would crawl naked down Main Street if you told her to!

Slide your big black cock into her now and she will probably go off like a firecracker. Then you settle in for a long session of  fucking. What a great time you have!

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Cock Rings

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Lance -- the dream

Editor’s note: Before you read this entry, you need to read the explanation preceding it, which you will find here. Lance relates his dream about being contacted by a black man who wants to fuck his white wife (a fantasy held by both Lance and Donna). These are the words of the black man in Lance’s dream.

Donna's thick thighs are built to take a black man between them.

I am a mature black man who loves white women, especially married white ladies.  I was most aroused when I viewed my latest issue of Dark Cavern.  I actually recognize your wife. You and she seem to meet a lot at <>.  I also go there often, myself, and have noticed your wife.  In fact, she and I exchange hello’s and smiles when we see each other.  I was not certain of your wife’s interest until I saw the photos of her posted on Dark Cavern and read what you had to say.  To be perfectly honest, Donna’s face and body have captivated me for some time.  I have often dreamt about her thick thighs and have imagined slapping that thick ass as I mounted her from behind or she rode me.  I am very interested in pursuing this and

wish for her and I to become lovers and fuck buddies.  But I am not looking for a one night stand.  I want this to be a long term thing.  And please do not worry.  I have no wish to impact your marriage or the life that you and Donna share but I very much would love to enjoy her and give her as much black cock as she can handle.

As for my part, I promise to be respectful of your wife — in public.  I make no such promise once I have her in bed.  She will be my married white slut and I intend to use her as such.  I think she will like it that way.  And just so you know, I will also take photos and I do intend to post and share them discreetly.  I think it’s important that my friends see her and I also expect that I will share her with some select black gentlemen.  Of course, they will also be no gentleman in bed.  But I will watch out for her and take care that she is never in danger and she will only fuck others by her agreement.

Another view of Donna’s thick thighs. Imagine yourself between them.

I also will use all her holes.  I don’t know whether she has had anal, yet.  But she will do it for me.  I have yet to find a white woman who, having tasted black cock in her mouth and pussy, will not agree to take it up the ass.  And, of course, once she has done that, there is no turning back.

Now, for your part, I would like you to let me know when you and she will be meeting at <> again.  You should be 20 minutes late.  I will be there when she arrives.  I know the area in which you and she usually sit and I’ll make sure I am already at a table close to or next to her.  I will be alone but acting like I am waiting for someone.  This way, I can chat with her and introduce myself, since we are presently only nodding acquaintances, and make some small talk.  Before this, I will ask you a few intimate details that will help me channel the conversation to some mutual interest.  Basically, you will be providing me information to help me seduce your wife.  That now becomes your primary role, by the way — assisting my efforts to make your wife my lover.  After a while, I’ll pretend I get a phone call and tell her that I’ve been stood up.  Before I leave, I’ll joke to her that, if she has also been stood up, perhaps we could do something together.  It’ll be said as a joke, but I want to plant the seed of dating me into her mind.

We’ll repeat that way of meeting once or twice more (you being late and her and I chatting) before I ask her out the first time.  This first meeting won’t actually be a date, so far as she thinks.  It will be a concert or something in which she and I have a mutual interest.  I’ll have one extra ticket that she can have and we would be going as part of a group of my friends.  The group will consist of three or four black men with their white dates.  Most of my black friends have white women that they date.  Many of these ladies are also married, by the way.  I will make sure that the rest of the group disappears early so that Donna and I are eventually alone together.  It’s our first date and my intention is to put her at ease about everything and just create a rapport between us.  I may only kiss her goodnight that first time, or maybe more.  I will play it by ear.  If conditions are right, I will fuck her that time.  Once we get to this point, you won’t be much involved anymore and I will not be feeding you updates nor requesting more from you.  You will have fulfilled your purpose.  I’ll take over from there.

Donna after sex. Imagine a black man's thick cum slowly seeping from her pussy.

As I said, this will not have any impact on your married life, except, perhaps to improve it.  Nor will you have to change lifestyle.  I expect that your wife and I will date once a week for some serious fucking and sucking.  We will be very discreet.  Ultimately, I will leave it to her as to whether she wants you to know about us.  She may not want that, at first.  It’s up to her.  I don’t really care whether she tells you, or not, though I will encourage her to, if she thinks you can deal with it.  Assuming that your wife does tell you that she is now MY woman, I expect you to offer your support and understanding to her.  Also, just so you know, once she has told you, I will want her to stay over the night of our dates.  This way, she can experience the full pleasure of morning sex and it will make it easier for me to arrange some group sessions for her.  The friends that I mentioned before, and I, regularly share our white girlfriends.  It’s a lot of fun.   I will also want your wife to spend a weekend with me every now and again.  We will arrange for some excuse for her to be away, for discretion sake, or else you can come along, as well.  We can get you a separate room or, if you don’t mind, you can stay on a couch or fold out bed.

If all this sounds good to you, please let me know.  I would like to start right away.  I find your wife very sexy and, as I said, love her thick ass and thighs and can’t wait to have those legs wrapped around me.  But please do be sure you want this.  Once she and I have that first date, there will be no going back.

<>”

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