Prompted by all the fellas commenting on my SG journal about how they fit my description of what I want in a man (At least 32, tall, dark eyed, dark haired and can fuck worth a damn), I wanted to talk about oral sex.
Again.
God, all this blog is ever about is dick and pussy, dick and pussy! Fucking perverts.
All those men boasting basically that they’re hot and good in the sack got me thinking about the last time I got some good head. Every man says he’s good at it.
By the way, barf, don’t say that shit to me on a date. “I’m so good at eating pussy” in the middle of a round of drinks on the first date is not cool.
This from the girl who talks about animal porn, anal sex and midget fucking on a first date, I know. But bragging about something sexually on a first date grosses me out. Like if you said, “I am so good at anally raping clowns. I rule that shit.”, that would gross me out way more than “So what do you think about anally raping clowns?”.
What if on a first date I said, “Well, yeah I love to read the great works but what I am hands down amazing at is sucking cock. I suck a mean dick!”
Okay, obviously some dudes would be super into that…..
To me, as a lady, I find it irritating that you would boast of your cunnilingus skills not only because it makes you look like a pompous ass but also because:
-You’re probably actually terrible at it.
-Men who are amazing at giving head rarely tell you so, they sneak up like a vag eating ninja and blow your mind.
I don’t even remember the last time I got good head. I know I was flabbergasted by the amount of terrible blowjobs men receive so god knows why I was surprised that I can’t remember the last time anyone could do something magic with his tongue.
When a man can’t kiss it’s a sure sign he won’t know what the hell to do with a vagina. That should have knocked the Vegan out of the running right away.
I can live without amazing head as long as the sex is stellar. I wonder if I will ever be amazed by someone’s skills again? I think it’s been 8 years or so…well with one in between, an ex who magically learned to give amazing head after we broke up but that I got to enjoy once or twice anyway.
Ladies, when was the last time you got any decent head?
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